new shoes and another peak...

hello to all who read...
i am always sharing something quirky it seems but i hope it always makes sense even if you are personally very logical and straightforward...maybe it is just a little sidestep for you to think about things how i see them...and so i continue to share...

before i shared my lime shoes with you...and today i add another pair. really a little more normal and fun just the same...i call it retail therapy as many of us do when you are in need of a little "pick me up" - so i splurged...which i don't do often...although always up for a vietnamese pedicure i usually don't buy things out of a certain frame of mind...today i did....just needed...

but i thought about it...my attempt at "feeling a little better" is so very futile. maybe it is the time in my life and all of our lives when we need to realize how we are created...a void only God can fill. a spot that is God-shaped and designed so that even fun shoes still leave a hole.... while i have had more than a list of questions for God lately- he made me and wants to fulfill the desires of my heart. he wants to be the desire of my heart at all times but he is gracious and merciful during times where he is not. he still pulls at my heart during trials letting me know that while i think i know what is best - he always knows better...

what's more...he is not only capable of filling my desires but making them desires that are my idea as well....that he didn't even talk me into it...make sense? so i am asking that God make my desires ones that would honor him and glorify him. even as a believer i am more than wretched and i even tend to resist what he wants for me- knowing full well that he is my creator and knows me better than anyone...even when life makes me question if i know what i need...

during times when i am lost in the futility of life- i am determined to seek his will even if my list of questions for him outweighs the stamina that i seem to have...maybe this is what the velveteen rabbit meant, huh?

Lord, i don't understand what you are doing in my life but i see enough evidence to trust you...even if my doubts are numerous- i am yours God and i know you are in the business of teaching me... however hard the road is...i look forward to the peace that i am trusting you to give me..

i am grateful that we have a patient God...a God who is jealous and holy...one that loves us no matter how much we question and how far we go to do things ourselves...

all of my love to new friends and old...bebek and sam...

p.s.- boy moms...here is another peak for you...